June 18, 2016

Random Thoughts About Travelling: Part 3

"Sometimes I hate my boobs when I travel."

There are no boobs here, you f**ktard. 

1) Having big boobs is sometimes a struggle. Have you experienced bumping someone at the airport or at the bus terminal and somehow his elbow touched one of your twins? I feel like I’m going to explode whenever this happens. “Pwedeng hwag kang dumikit sakin punyeta!” Whether you’re a friend or not please keep a distance from me when your elbow and my boobs are just of the same height or level. Dude, it does hurt you know, physically and emotionally.

My tip: Put a barricade on your twins by hugging yourself. Or you could use one of those metallic bras, if they do exist.

2) Sometimes, I’m so paranoid that the person sitting beside me on the bus or the plane is looking at them even though he’s not.

Tip: Always bring a big bag or a blanket and use it to cover your twins when you're uncomfortable.

3) It’s hard to use a sling bag. Using a sling bag will make your boobs more noticeable. It’s like holding a placard near your boobs with the words “Look at my boobs! Look at it! Looooook!”
Tip: Don’t use a sling bag.

4) Running is sometimes a struggle. It’s not that they’re heavy, they just bounce in all places and all directions.  Boobs be like “I’m fabulous! I’m fabulous!”
Tip: Same as number 1.

5) You will always look sexy on any kind of clothing especially those that are body fitting and V-necks.
Tip: Who cares! I like wearing V necks.


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